You’re a What?


I thought I'd launch my blog with the story behind why I became a Beachbody coach.  This is a very vulnerable post which was tough for me to put down in writing.  But I know there are other SAHMs out there going through the same thing and I want you to know that you are not alone!

For most of my adult life I have lived with varying degrees of depression.  The point at which I realized I couldn’t deal with it on my own anymore was when I became a mom.  Every once in a while in my first years of parenthood I could see how I was behaving through the eyes of my two girls and I didn’t want them to grow up and think that my behavior was normal.  I wanted to be the best mom I could for them.  For me, that meant becoming a better me.

However, before I could focus on being the mom I wanted to be, I had to first be happy with myself, and I after the birth of my second daughter two years after my first, I just wasn’t.  I felt sad most of the time, finding that I had very little patience, and so I just couldn’t enjoy the precious time I had with my girls.

For whatever reason, I felt ashamed to acknowledge my depression, as   if I were somehow weak for not being able to deal with it on my own and choose to be happy.  In a moment of clarity I decided I couldn’t just hope to be better; instead I had to do something about it.  For me the right thing to do was make an appointment with my doctor.  And am I glad I did!  Medication isn’t right for everyone or for every situation, but it was right for me at that time.  It allowed me to take the steps I needed to get back on track to being myself.

The first thing I decided to take on after that appointment was the constant war I was waging on my body: the guilt, the loathing, the hiding.  I was prepared to try just about anything.  And so I started off on my quest for a meal replacement shake to help me lose weight.  I tried several, and honestly they weren’t doing much for me,  and they left me feeling crabby and hungry.  My husband read the ingredients on the shakes I had been trying and said:  “No, you’re not eating this. It’s garbage.  I don’t care what the cost is, get something that  has high quality ingredients.  You’re worth it.”  At that time a friend of  mine was using Shakeology and really liked it, so I decided to give it a try to. 

Wow,  what a good move that was!  It wasn't a miracle weight loss shake.  In fact I didn’t lose any weight when I first started using it.  But my nails and hair became noticeably healthier, which was a promising start.  I felt like I was starting my day off on the right foot, with plenty of vitamins and nutrients and, as a bonus, I didn't find myself hangry (so hungry you’re angry) starting at 9:30.  And then, because I had purchased Shakeology, Beachbody put me in contact with my amazing coach who encouraged me to check out the fitness and nutrition program 21 Day Fix.  And I started exercising regularly again and eating well.

Separately all three of these things are excellent.  Combined, for me they are the holy trifecta that achieved what I had been searching for!  Did they help me lose weight?  You bet.  Am I ready for a bikini photo shoot.  Sure, but not for the reasons you think.  My body isn’t perfect.  You can’t see my abs, and I don’t have a perfectly rounded tush, but I did find self-acceptance  .  I found myself again.  I’m proud of my body.  I’m happy again.  I’m not perfect, of course, so  I still lose my patience with my girls when they cross the line … for the third time!, but I have become the mom I wanted to be.

Why am I sharing this deeply personal story in such a public way?  Because I know how hard it is for us moms to take care of ourselves the way we should.  And I want, from the bottom of my heart, to help other moms out there who are struggling the way I was to get back on the path to finding themselves and their happiness again.  I’m not a doctor, so I can’t help you with any medical issues, but if you want to join me in a proven way to get to feeling more healthy in mind and body, I would be honored to share this journey with you.