I thought I'd launch my blog with the story behind why I became a Beachbody coach. This is a very vulnerable post which was tough for me to put down in writing. But I know there are other SAHMs out there going through the same thing and I want you to know that you are not alone!
For most of my adult life I have lived with varying degrees of depression. The point at which I realized I couldn’t deal with it on my own anymore was when I became a mom. Every once in a while in my first years of parenthood I could see how I was behaving through the eyes of my two girls and I didn’t want them to grow up and think that my behavior was normal. I wanted to be the best mom I could for them. For me, that meant becoming a better me.
However, before I could focus on being the mom I wanted to be, I had to first be happy with myself, and I after the birth of my second daughter two years after my first, I just wasn’t. I felt sad most of the time, finding that I had very little patience, and so I just couldn’t enjoy the precious time I had with my girls.
For whatever reason, I felt ashamed to acknowledge my depression, as if I were somehow weak for not being able to deal with it on my own and choose to be happy. In a moment of clarity I decided I couldn’t just hope to be better; instead I had to do something about it. For me the right thing to do was make an appointment with my doctor. And am I glad I did! Medication isn’t right for everyone or for every situation, but it was right for me at that time. It allowed me to take the steps I needed to get back on track to being myself.
The first thing I decided to take on after that appointment was the constant war I was waging on my body: the guilt, the loathing, the hiding. I was prepared to try just about anything. And so I started off on my quest for a meal replacement shake to help me lose weight. I tried several, and honestly they weren’t doing much for me, and they left me feeling crabby and hungry. My husband read the ingredients on the shakes I had been trying and said: “No, you’re not eating this. It’s garbage. I don’t care what the cost is, get something that has high quality ingredients. You’re worth it.” At that time a friend of mine was using Shakeology and really liked it, so I decided to give it a try to.
Wow, what a good move that was! It wasn't a miracle weight loss shake. In fact I didn’t lose any weight when I first started using it. But my nails and hair became noticeably healthier, which was a promising start. I felt like I was starting my day off on the right foot, with plenty of vitamins and nutrients and, as a bonus, I didn't find myself hangry (so hungry you’re angry) starting at 9:30. And then, because I had purchased Shakeology, Beachbody put me in contact with my amazing coach who encouraged me to check out the fitness and nutrition program 21 Day Fix. And I started exercising regularly again and eating well.
Separately all three of these things are excellent. Combined, for me they are the holy trifecta that achieved what I had been searching for! Did they help me lose weight? You bet. Am I ready for a bikini photo shoot. Sure, but not for the reasons you think. My body isn’t perfect. You can’t see my abs, and I don’t have a perfectly rounded tush, but I did find self-acceptance . I found myself again. I’m proud of my body. I’m happy again. I’m not perfect, of course, so I still lose my patience with my girls when they cross the line … for the third time!, but I have become the mom I wanted to be.
Why am I sharing this deeply personal story in such a public way? Because I know how hard it is for us moms to take care of ourselves the way we should. And I want, from the bottom of my heart, to help other moms out there who are struggling the way I was to get back on the path to finding themselves and their happiness again. I’m not a doctor, so I can’t help you with any medical issues, but if you want to join me in a proven way to get to feeling more healthy in mind and body, I would be honored to share this journey with you.